simplicity

Photo of the Day

2008-05-28T21:14:00.000-06:00

Photo of The Week

2008-04-30T19:19:00.003-06:00

2008-04-18T23:03:00.002-06:00

He is the fear I wore on Sunday.
Clinging to body,
Shining skin & tainted lips

The shadow of thought
That swept over my mind
On a cloudy Monday morning

He is the break in consciousness.
The elaborate patch of nothingness
That invaded Tuesday brunch.

The black night
Made silent by Wednesday graces.

He is random flight
Through shades of blue
On a Thursday made free

The fanciful vision
Pondered on a friday morning
With coffee & toasted bagel

He is my distraction
My lovely distraction.

Justice

2007-11-28T16:20:00.000-07:00

I was honestly shocked , though I'm not entirely sure why, when I heard the news. 200 lashes for adultery! Never mind that the 19 year old girl was gang raped by 7 men. All that mattered to Saudi justice was that she had the ordasity to be out in public without a male relative. Never mind that this is the 21st century, not biblical times. We have come so far yet women are still nothing more then possessions to so many. When will people simply be people, not a sex or a race?

Were are all the real photo journalists gone?

2007-07-10T14:05:00.000-06:00

Can you believe that the same journalist took both of these photos? What happened to journalistic integrity?

Photo of the week...

2007-07-08T21:16:00.000-06:00

The Journey - Mary Oliver

2007-06-21T19:14:00.000-06:00

One day you finally knew

What you had to do, & began

though the voices around you

kept shouting

their bad advice-

though the whole house

began to tremble

& you felt the old tug

at your ankles

"mend my life!"

each voice cried.

But you didn't stop.

You knew what you had to do,

though the wind pried

with its stiff fingers

at the very foundations,

though their melancholy

was terrible.

It was already late

enough, & a wild night,

& the road full of fallen

branches & stones.

But little by little,

as you left their voices behind,

the stars began to burn

through the sheets of clouds,

& there was a new voice

which you slowly

recognized as your own,

that kept you company

as you strode deeper & deeper

into the world,

determined to do

the only thing you could do -

determined to save

the only life that you could save.

Interesting BBC article

2007-05-24T15:02:00.000-06:00

"This World: Mystery Flights" pieces together the jigsaw of "extraordinary rendition", the alleged illegal CIA transfer of terror suspects to secret prisons in Europe.
In far eastern Poland in 2002 and 2003 strange planes landed on an old disused runway in a secluded forest - nine times.
The airport was closed but Mariola Przewlocka, the airport facilities manager, was told to accept the planes or "heads would roll".
Airport staff were told to stay away while the passengers were unloaded out of sight. Mini-vans with blacked-out windows drove them away to a former Soviet military intelligence base, where it is believed the CIA has its own zone.
Was Poland a staging point in the network of secret prisons established by the United States in their "extraordinary rendition" programme? Did these mystery flights bring al-Qaeda suspects to Poland?
"It didn't occur to anyone then that it might have something to do with transporting prisoners," says Mariola Przewlocka. "All the rigmarole surrounding the flights - now I think it may have been possible."
"Extraordinary rendition" is the CIA term for taking prisoners abroad for interrogation, a policy the US administration defends as a necessary tool in the "war on terror".
It denies that prisoners are taken to be tortured.
But it offers no explanation for transporting them around the world to countries that are known to use torture, such as Uzbekistan, Morocco, Egypt and Syria.

Binyam Mohammed, a British resident from Ethiopia was "rendered" to Morocco in a Gulfstream N379P after he was arrested in Pakistan.
He says he was tortured there until he agreed to sign a statement his captors had prepared. The statement said that he was a member of al-Qaeda; that he had met Osama bin Laden and that he was part of a plot to explode a radioactive bomb in America.
His lawyer Clive Stafford Smith believes US denials on torture cannot be true.
"He was taken by the Americans to Morocco," he said. "He's not Moroccan so there's only one purpose and that's for him to go through a little bit of extraordinary interrogation."
Another rendition flight - this time a Boeing 737 - which stopped in Mallorca on its way to Afghanistan, was photographed by plane-spotters.
When human rights organisations, journalists, lawyers and plane-spotters compared notes, and when the dates were matched with flight logs and other prisoners' testimonies, the extent of the rendition programme began to be revealed.
It is alleged that the CIA flew their planes to 29 different countries and that there were 300 CIA landings in Europe alone, 80 in Britain.
How many prisoners were rendered is still not known. Nor is it known whether many were subjected to torture.
Damaging
European governments continue to deny they were involved.
Joseph Manchado, the plane-spotter who photographed the Boeing in Mallorca, is sceptical.
"I think the Spanish authorities knew that there were flights from Palma to Guantanamo. Clearly businessmen don't fly to Guantanamo. I don't suppose the authorities investigated - they just prefer to keep quiet and turn a blind eye to what was going on right under their noses".
Few people in America or Europe have cried for the fate of these Muslim men who may or may not be guilty, but who have never been tried or given a chance to defend themselves in court.
Some will think they deserve no mercy, in revenge for al-Qaeda's crimes committed in their religion's name.
But the former head of the CIA in Europe Tyler Drumheller admits the policy has been damaging. In an exclusive interview with the BBC he says: "It's a mess, and it's going to get worse. A lot of things were done after 9/11 that are going to be looked at for years to come. There are going to be commissions, inquiries, court cases."
Mr Drumheller was head of clandestine operations between 2001 and his resignation in 2005.
He cannot speak of the secret prisons, for fear of prosecution himself, but he believes the buck stops with the US President.
By September 2006, the White House was forced to admit that "a small number of suspected terrorist leaders and operatives captured during the war had been held and questioned outside the United States in a separate programme operated by the Central Intelligence Agency".
But the president would not say where detainees had been held, or divulge details of their confinement.
Slowly Europe's democracies are cranking into action in a belated attempt to hold their own governments to account.
In Italy, a former chief of military intelligence is in court. Warrants are out for the arrest of CIA agents formerly based there and the government is being accused of a cover-up.
The former President of Poland, Aleksander Kwasniewski, and the former Polish Defence Minister, Radoslaw Sirkorski, have denied that Poland and the military airbase in question were involved.
The UK Government has said it does not know and has no way of finding out who was aboard the 80 CIA flights that landed on British soil.

ANTI- RENDITION ACTION
Germany: Parliamentary investigation; arrest warrants issued by Munich court for 13 suspected CIA agents
Italy: Judge to decide on whether to try suspects in case of kidnapped imam
Portugal: Investigation opened in January by public prosecutor
Romania: Parliamentary investigation into secret prison claims
Spain: Judge investigating whether CIA flight stopovers violated human rights law
Switzerland: Criminal probe into use of Swiss airspace to fly kidnapped imam from Italy to Germany

Beltane

2007-04-30T16:29:00.000-06:00

The Beltane Fire Festival is held every year during the night of April 30th on Calton Hill in Edinburgh.

An audience of around 15 thousand people come to share the spectacular procession. It has become famous for its intensity and colour. The event has become a feature on the Edinburgh calendar since it was first organised in the mid 1980s." http://www.beltane.org/

Beltane, also known as May Day, it is meant to celebrate the height of Spring and of new life.

Sunday

2007-04-29T14:29:00.001-06:00

"I am writing on a Sunday, the morning far advanced, on a day full of soft light in which, above the rooftops of the interrupted city, the blue of the always brand new sky closes the mysterious existence of stars into oblivion.

In me it is also Sunday...My heart is also going to church, located it doesn't know where. It wears a child's velvet suit, and it's face, made rosy by first impressions, smiles without sad eyes above the collar that's too big."

-Pessoa

Sunday's are meant for simple things. Family & friends. Sleeping late & lamenting over fresh coffee. Keep the blinds down if the sunlight displeases you or venture out & take a long, winding, stroll through the neighbourhood, any neighbourhood. Go to church, say a prayer or just laugh with a good friend.

Do whatever inspires your soul to life. Because Sundays are for the soul.

Photo of the week...

2007-04-16T14:00:00.000-06:00

Sping is Sprung

2007-04-16T13:04:00.000-06:00

Being back from vacation not only means getting back to the 9-5 but also the gym. A week without the gym & eating whatever I feel like has definitely taken its toll. Not just on my body but on my sleep habits, my energy level & just the way I generally feel about myself. I can't wait to get back into the routine.

I have 5 weeks left here in Banff. And I simply refuse to go home with any extra winter pounds. I won't do it. I have this little summer dress that I love. But at the moment, it doesn't love me. I have 5 weeks. That dress is my new goal.

Spring is always a great time to refocus. At least that's what I've always found. I know most people make their new year resolutions in January. But for me mid-winter is no time for fresh starts. Spring is when it all happens. You can get out, breath in the fresh air & watch the world around you renew itself. Nature is inspiring that way. Spring has a contagious energy like no other time of the year.

5 weeks! I'm going to look great in that dress.

Nassau

2007-04-15T11:23:00.000-06:00

Well, vacation is over. I'm back to the old grind & not too happy about it either. The cruise was fun. It was so great to see my friends & get to hang out with them for a few days. I don't think I realized how lonely I've been here in Banff. It was actually too short. I didn't want to leave. But now back to reality.

On the bright side, going on this cruise made me realize how much I really do miss it. I miss the people, the busy-ness of the days & of course, the sunshine. When I left the Spirit, I was so exhausted that I never thought I would ever go back. But a year later, rested & getting restless, I'm excited to get back.

Hmmm....

2007-04-01T14:37:00.000-06:00

"You could be dead by evening."

-Proust

Going, Going, Gone.....soon

2007-03-31T17:38:00.000-06:00

Well, I did it. I gave my notice & will be leaving Banff the end of May. Where will I go? What will I do? Your guess is as good as mine. I may even find myself washed out to sea again, just for a little while. (all those ex-starboarders, don't disown me just yet, I haven't decided anything).

Speaking of sea, I'm going on a cruise next week. It can't come soon enough! I know that I just gave notice so I probably shouldn't be going on vacation. But if I don't get away for awhile, then forget May, I'll have to leave tomorrow.

I think it'll be cool to cruise. It might feel a little weird being on the other end of it for once. But my friends are there & that's all I care about. I need to have some fun, laugh til it hurts, absorb some vitamin D, maybe get a little drunk. It's been a longggggg, cold winter. I can't wait to see Gayle, we always have so much fun together.

I'll post some pics when I get back.

Picture of The Week...Sugar & Spice

2007-03-16T12:21:00.000-06:00

Women Worth Mentioning

2007-03-15T17:01:00.000-06:00

Juana de Pargament speaks boldly, passionately, and without stopping. This indomitable 90- year-old marches around the Plaza de Mayo in Buenos Aires at 3:30 PM every Thursday, arm-in-arm with other mothers.
Juana is a founder of the Mothers of the Plaza de Mayo, women who protested their children’s disappearances during Argentina’s brutal military dictatorship, the so-called “dirty war,” from 1976- 1983. She has been marching for 27 years

The Mothers of the Plaza de Mayo began the fight as a group of 14 on April 30, 1977. After former president Isabel Peron declared a state of siege. Under the “Doctrine of National Security,” fighting communism and upholding Christianity were trademarks of a regime based on censorship and persecution of sub- versives.

Dazed by a sudden surge in the kidnappings, which had begun as early as 1971, the Mothers banded together to demand information. When General Jorge Rafael Videla refused to meet with them, former President Azucena Villaflor suggested they assemble in the plaza facing the Casa Rosada—the presidential palace.
The middle-aged and older women, most of whom had never been politically active before, suddenly faced snarling dogs, police brutality, and death threats, which continue today.

According to Bonafini’s account in the History of the Mothers of the Plaza de Mayo, the women were condemned as mothers of “terrorists.” Several original Mothers, including Villaflor, disappeared. In 1979 they resorted to secret church meetings for fear of harshening repercussions. “Our children were militants, they knew about all this, but we didn’t. We were still working in our kitchens,” says Juana. “We went into the streets to look for them. We knocked on every door. Everything was, ‘No. We haven’t seen them, we don’t know them, we don’t recognize them.’”

The Mothers eventually discovered that their children were held in 340 secret detention centers where they were tortured, killed, and sometimes thrown into the ocean

Juana says lawyers, doctors, and psychologists participated in the systematic torture, with doctors determining how much prisoners could withstand each day without dying. The Mothers have also accused Pepsi, Coca-Cola, and the sugar refinery Ledesma of lending trucks for kidnappings.

Juana and the other Mothers agitated internationally, eventually provoking criticism of Argentina by journalists, human rights organizations, and the United Nations— earning a UNESCO Prize for Peace Education in 1999 and inspiring women’s groups from Holland to Guatemala. However, even as they were promised help, State Department officials maintained covert business relationships with the military. In fact, many military officials had been trained in U.S. military academies to fight the spread of “communism.”

“We believed they were listening with love and understanding. But it was not true,” Juana jabs the air for emphasis. “Carter tricked us, they all did.”

During Operation Condor—the code name for the secret regional South American plan to share intelligence on suspected Marxists—the Mothers received no support from the Chilean military government and activists were detained in Brazil and Uruguay as they tried to escape. The Mothers also received little aid from the Catholic Church, even though nuns and priests also disappeared. “Of the 80 bishops, only four understood us,” says Juana. “The rest supported the military, like the pope.” According to Juana, former papal envoy Pio Laghi entered concentration camps and signed death sentences. “He kicked the kids that were being tortured and said, ‘Tell them everything you know and you will be saved.’ And they still weren’t saved.”
Juana, who is Jewish, claims about 2,000 Jews were among the disappeared, with Jewish prisoners receiving “double the torture.” They were made to walk on all fours and paint their bodies with swastikas, as Nazi music blared. When the Mothers asked the Israeli embassy to save the Jewish disappeared, the Mothers were told Israel didn’t want them either because they were revolutionaries.

After the transfer to democracy in 1983, the Mothers met with new President Raúl Alfonsín, but found him unresponsive. He formed the National Commission on the Disappeared (CONADEP), which released explosive details of military repression, but found only 9,000 disappeared. The Mothers estimate at least 30,000

Even as they continue to agitate, the Mothers have also moved into a new role—teachers. Visitors often use them as a primary resource to understand a past Argentines are loath to discuss. The Mothers have written several histories, profiles of the disappeared, and a monthly newspaper. Their headquarters houses a revolutionary bookstore, cafe, and library. In 2000, they began the Popular University of the Mothers of the Plaza de Mayo, offering an activist education unavailable in mainstream schools.

Juana thinks young activists should immerse themselves in history, but steer clear of violent conflict. “Save the country with concepts, with feelings, with morality, not with the savagery of the military,” she says. “We fight so new leaders are born to govern with honesty and love. When we don’t live anymore, we want people to remember our example and what happened in this country that made us give our lives to change it once and for all.”

Amanda Schoenberg has worked as a reporter for The Tico Times, in San Jose, Costa Rica.

The mastermind behind EVERYTHING

2007-03-15T13:46:00.000-06:00

Perhaps I'm just a cynic. Maybe I've lost faith in our politicians & leaders. I see everyone as nothing more than unapologetic spin doctors. So maybe it's just me...but doesn't it all seem a little suspicious? Isn't this scape goat a tad bit obvious? I'm not saying that Khalid Sheik Mohammad is as pure as the freshly driven snow. Not at all. I'm sure he may have aided in & done some horrendous things. But everything??? This one man is responsible for every terrorist attack & terrorist plot for the past decade?

This man has been in US custody, in secret US prisons, in countries that not only allow torture but blatantly defend their medieval techniques, for 4 years. All of a sudden he confesses to EVERYTHING? Really? He confesses to everything after 4 years of confinement & treatment that doesn't just bend but breaks the Geneva convention into pieces, without the assistance of an attorney or any legal aid. Then his confession is read, not by himself but a US Colonel, during a SECRET trial in Cuba. And when asked if his confession was given under torture his answer is blacked out by CIA for "National Security". Actually the majority of the transcript that was made public is blackened out. Now they say that Khalid's allegations of torture will be reported & investigated... What? Didn't the US colonel just claim that Khalid himself said that his confession was not given under any pressure? So if there was no pressure what torture will they investigate?

Isn't it also a coincidence how this all takes place at the same time that more Americans are against the war then ever before, the Democrats are looking strong for the next election & Bush's popularity is in the hole? What a stroke of luck for the Republicans & for Bush himself. Now they have a confession & a man they can hold up & say "see, it's working," "The war, the torture, the military funding, is all worth while." "And if you want to continue to feel secure you have to vote for us again next election."

I don't want to come off as an "anti-American", "anti-troops", "pro-terrorist" or any other label the SHEEP give to anyone with an opinion of their own. The US got this all wrong. After 9/11 the US had the world united behind them. Now, after Iraq & all the moral & legal fumbling. We have the allies split & fighting with each other, & enemies who have never before been so united.

The US needs to wake up, accept their part in this conflict, stop giving ultimatums, & come up with an end game. Which has to include some form of peaceful negotiation. I know, "we don't negotiate with terrorist." Well you can't kill them all either.

A Noise in the Attic

2007-03-12T18:53:00.000-06:00

Manacles of Faith
Bind & sedate

Confining me to illusions of fire

The body is holy

Pure naked vision

Compelling grace from beautiful bone

And fine wine

Expose yourself to imagining

Wail in pleasure

Cause earthquakes

And other natural disasters

Unlock the attic door

Let the Woman go free

My Paris Apartment....

2007-03-08T17:56:00.001-07:00

SOON....

2007-03-04T12:47:00.000-07:00

RUT= 'a fixed or established mode of procedure or course in life, usually dull or unpromising. '

And this is exactly where I find myself today. The last place I want to be, yet here I am. WORK-EAT-SLEEP.

My body always seems to know when I'm in a rut before my head. I start to feel tense & anxious. I wake with a scream trapped in my chest. I dream of just running & never having to stop. I search every horizon for a sign, a clue.

I know that everything will change soon enough. Spring is fast approaching & I am making plans to leave Banff in May. I'm just a sucker for instant gratification. Soon is never soon enough.

I think I thrive in chaos. I never seem to be happy unless I'm changing, moving or in the middle of some new shadow of unpredictability.

The things we want take time to build. A lesson I have yet to truly absorb.

Picture of the week

2007-02-19T17:29:00.000-07:00

I was Just Thinking of Home

2007-02-18T11:49:00.000-07:00

Sea Fever

I must go down to the sea again, to the lonely sea and the sky,

And all I ask is a tall ship and a star to steer her by;

And the wheel’s kick and the wind’s song and the white sail’s shaking,

And a grey mist on the sea’s face, and a grey dawn breaking.

I must go down to the seas again, for the call of the running tideIs a wild call and a clear call that may not be denied;

And all I ask is a windy day with the white clouds flying,

And the flung spray and the blown spume, and the sea-gulls crying.

I must go down to the seas again, to the vagrant gypsy life,

To the gull’s way and the whale’s way where the wind’s like a whetted knife;

And all I ask is a merry yarn from a laughing fellow-rover,

And quiet sleep and a sweet dream when the long trick’s over.

John Masefield, Poet Laureate of England (1930-67).

Guantanamo Bay- Shame on you!

2007-02-11T14:32:00.000-07:00

"My husband was kidnapped over three years ago, and in this period I have not known anything about his whereabouts and how he is keeping (...) Recently I have found out that he has been transferred to Guantánamo. I am very happy that he's alive, but it's a shock because I've heard a lot about what happens there."

Courtesy of http://www.amnesty.org/

Click on the link to read more about Guantanamo Bay detainees, torture, children at Guantanamo, & how you can help.

Well, its about time!

2007-02-11T13:28:00.000-07:00

Putin blasts U.S. for 'very dangerous' foreign policies

-Russian President Vladimir Putin has accused the United States of making the world a more dangerous place by trying to impose its will through an "almost uncontained, hyper use of force."-(CBC News)

-"One state, the United States, has overstepped its national borders in every way. This is very dangerous. Nobody feels secure anymore because nobody can hide behind international law," Putin told the annual Munich Conference on Security Policy.-(CBC News)

-"It is a world of one master, one sovereign.… It has nothing to do with democracy," he told the gathering of senior security officials from around the world-(CBC News)

You may not like that he said it, but its true. Democracy is a word the US likes to throw around when it suits their needs.

But if it was an ideal they honestly lived by how could they explain their support of dictators throughout Europe, Asia & Latin America?

Wasn't it just last year that the US refused to recognize Hezbollah as an official government? Even though they were democratically elected by its citizens.

Didn't they also just last year attempt to interfere with the democratic elections of Nicaragua, a country still struggling to recover from a US funded civil war that completely devastated their government, economy & culture. Threatening sanctions, embargoes & even violence if the citizens elected a leader who was not in favor with the white house?

Democracy? That is a concept that is only supported by the US if the outcome is Pro-American & above all, profitable.

I for one applaud Putin for standing up & speaking out. The US has gone virtually unchallenged in it's tyrannical holy war. And if you do happen to have an opinion opposing the war you are labeled Pro- Terror & Anti- Troops. This war that is not even supported by the majority of American citizens has gone on far too long.

More international leaders need to heed his example. They need to make America realize that, contrary to their own PR, they do not own the world.

Anais Nin

2007-02-01T16:10:00.000-07:00

"We do not grow absolutely, chronologically. We grow sometimes in one direction & not in another, unevenly. We grow partially. We are relative. We are mature in one realm, childish in another. The past, present & future mingle & pull us backward, forward, or fix us in the present. We are made up of layers, cells, constellations."

I love this quote. I read it whenever I am disappointed with my progress through life. It reminds me that I don't have to be perfect. That mistakes & misjudgements are inevitable. It is the human condition to strive & to fail. On the days when I beat myself up for not having all the answers, I remember that I'm not suppose to. I remember that it is in the asking that we grow.

Picture of the Week.....The worst hair cut ever!

2007-01-31T17:54:00.000-07:00

One of my Favorites

2007-01-21T12:55:00.000-07:00

Hold fast to dreams,

for if dreams die,

life is a broken-winged bird,

that cannot fly.

Hold fast to dreams,

for if dreams go,

life is a barren field,

frozen with snow.

-Langston Hughes

HMMM....

2007-01-17T19:55:00.000-07:00

"...there is only one way to strive for decency, reason, responsibility, sincerity, civility and tolerance, and that is decently, reasonably, responsibly, sincerely, civilly and tolerantly."
-Vaclav Havel

Picture Of The Week...

2007-01-17T18:47:00.000-07:00

Personally, I think they're both beautiful.

Move or Die

2007-01-13T18:13:00.000-07:00

What is it about change that scares us to our core? We've been changing since the day we were born and with every breath since. You'd think we'd be use to it. Yet still we resist, with every fibre of our being. We avoid, make excuses, pull the covers over our head & say we'll deal with it tomorrow. And we never do, at least I don't. Then something happens & we are forced to stop & rethink everything. I'm not talking about changing our hair style or our job, I mean real change. Sometimes the universe moves & we are forced to change the way we think. Change how we live our lives & the choices we make every day. A change of scenery or wardrobe can feel liberating, they can inflat your sails & send you on your way. But a change at our core can be utterly terrifying. And at times, completely necessary.

Destiny or Choice???

2007-01-10T20:23:00.000-07:00

Don't you just hate decisions? The choice between one path or another. The life I have or a brand new way of being full of surprises & unknowns. Do I stay straight, veer right, take a left or maybe back track a mile or two? Every seemingly unimportant decision can change everything...indefinitely. We change with every breath, literally. So how do you choose?

Sometimes a little backtracking can save you in the long run. Sometimes when we are on our way to our dreams we get lost & in the process find a better way, sometimes we even find a better dream.

Picture of the Week.......because sometimes we all need our space

2007-01-09T10:35:00.000-07:00

HMMM.....

2007-01-07T18:11:00.000-07:00

In fact the ability to start out upon your own impulse is fundamental to the gift of keeping going upon your own terms, not to mention the further & more fulfilling gift of getting started all over again - never resting upon the oars of success or in the doldrums of disappointment...getting started, keeping going, getting started again - in art & in life, it seems to me this is the essential rhythm.
-Seamus Heaney

Banff

2007-01-03T17:50:00.000-07:00

Give a Little

2006-12-31T17:19:00.000-07:00

If you haven't heard of Heifer, they are a great organization. Its not charity, its sustainable development. You can donate $$$ or purchase a donation from their gift catalogue. I try to buy them something at least once a year. www.heifer.org Check them out please.

Happy New Year!!!!

2006-12-31T14:22:00.000-07:00

I love this time of the year. I just love the idea of a clean slate. The chance to get it right this time. No matter how many mistakes, no matter how desperate or ill-conceived the past year may have been, this time I could get it right. Eat better, meditate daily, finish that first chapter...its all right there just waiting for me. It's a season brimming with new ideas, exploding with possibility.

There's a hopeful energy surging through everything & everyone. I wake a little earlier & pop out of bed with an ounce more bounce. The mind reels as I think of all the things I could accomplish in 12 whole months.

Its like one big do over.

Now, what to do first?

It takes a lot of courage to release the familiar and seemingly secure, to embrace the new. But there is no real security in what is no longer meaningful. There is more security in the adventurous and exciting, for in movement there is life, and in change there is power.

-Alan Cohen

Picture Of The Week......... I Just Think She's Beautiful

2006-12-28T18:07:00.000-07:00

Picture of The Week

2006-12-20T14:20:00.000-07:00

Pet Peeves...on a bad day

2006-12-20T12:33:00.000-07:00

* Rude People. You know who you are. There is just no need for you to exist. "Please", "Thank You", "Excuse me", these are not unnecessary, you however are.

* People who talk just to hear themselves speak. Not everything said is interesting or necessary. There really is no need to try & fill up every single piece of empty space with something. Especially when that something is really nothing & just makes me want to smack you.

* Dumb people. I'm not talking about not knowing the square root of Pi. I mean people who lack any common sense whatsoever. People with less think through skills then a piece of dead wood.

* Screaming kids. If you can't control your ankle biters inside the home, don't bring them outside the home. There is no need for everyone to have to suffer for your mistakes or lack of parental know how.
* "Have a Happy Period." Are you kidding me? I just know it was a man that came up with that particular ad gem. And every time I notice it, I happen to be on my "happy" period & inches from homicidal. Which of course relates us back to the dumb people I mentioned earlier.
* Morning people. Just because you feel the need to have a conversation before a cup of coffee doesn't mean the rest of us do. So zip it, or prepare to be harmed.
I'm sure I have more. But I just can't be bothered today.

HAVE A HAPPY PERIOD!!!!!

Sneaked Up on Me Again This Year...

2006-12-18T12:15:00.000-07:00

So Christmas is fast approaching & am I ready? Of course not!!! Every year is the same. I start planning in Nov & never get anything done until the week before. I don't even have all my Christmas cards written. Though, in my defense, I do have a lot of Christmas cards to write (48 to be precise). and I copt out a bit this year & sent e-cards to about another 20, mostly to avoid the hassle of tracking down addresses. So I don't feel too bad about the cards, I have about half of them sent, (pat on the back). I've got to edit that card list next year, really I do, it just keeps getting bigger. Pretty soon I'll be all year just writing cards. As for gifts, it'll be January before anyone at home gets my gifts because I don't even have them in the mail yet. And that's a shame because a few of them are kinda seasonal. So mom's not going to get to use her Santa plates until next year. Not to worry, she'll understand, where do you think I got my procrastinating ways.

Someday, I'll get it all together. Everyone will get their cards the first week of December & their gifts will all arrive a few days before Christmas, so they can settle in under the tree & the kids can all take their turn shaking them, trying to guess what could be hidden inside. I don't stress about it. The people who know me know that this is how it is.

But one year, maybe soon, I'll surprise them. Most likely it'll just be the one time & none of them should expect it to continue because it more then likely was a total fluke. But just once would be enough for me.

Maybe next year, of course I said that this year, & last year & the year before....

Retail Therapy

2006-12-16T18:30:00.000-07:00

I don't have an unlimited disposable income. I don't think I have any disposable income actually. But I do however, on occasion, like to pretend. I'll admit, sometimes pretending becomes buying. But usually its just pretending. Every once in a while I get the almost uncontrollable urge to just shop. The last time I got the urge was in Vancouver, Robson St, almost a year ago. Well, pretending didn't quite work that day, 2 hours & $1200 later, I felt purged. Unfortunately, I don't work the high seas anymore. I can't spend $$$ like I actually have it. I shouldn't have really done it then either, but I did.

Now, I'm in Banff. Which for those of you unfamiliar with this particular point of geography/retail. I can't really shop if I want to. Except for sporting goods & local art. So do I let go of my stanch belief in the power of retail therapy? Become a penny pincher? Invest in my future, any future? Of course not! Instead, I have discovered the beauty & convenience of online shopping. Capitalism at my fingertips & delivered directly to my door in less then 7 days. How cool is that?

I've reluctantly decided to share some of my fabulous online finds. There are some pretty terrible sights out there, but these are awesome.

http://www.shopintuition.com/ Everything from Hollywood high fashion to Target Couture.

http://www.shopbop.com/ I could spend all day browsing on here.

http://www.pinkstore.com/ Yes, pink is my new favorite colour but no, not everything on here is pink. Actually very little is. Not a huge selection, but worth a look.

www.raredevice.net Everything from clothing- wallpaper. Every one who knows me pretty much knows I've been decorating my imaginary house for a few years now. I got idea overload from there home decor link. There's a zen tea pot & a wall print on here I must own.

http://www.swayandcake.com/ Pics are a little small, can strain the eyes a bit. But the clothes are definately wearable.

Great retro tees spot is Morphine Generation or you could just make your own at Bang On.

But my absolute favorite, hands down is http://www.anthropologie.com/ Feminine, vintage-inspired, totally perfect.

And, best of all, browsing online is stress free. No aggressive sales people. No panicked crowds. No screaming kids. No sore feet.

Playing around on the sights doesn't really cure my shopping itch. But it can inspire & it does give me a goal. And you gotta have a goal.

Picture of the Week Hexagonal Dentrite...AKA... A Snow Flake

2006-12-15T19:52:00.000-07:00

DECEMBER 10

2006-12-11T10:13:00.000-07:00

What makes a person stop?

Do they just wake up one morning & think, 'this is far enough, I refuse to go any further'?
Is it a conscious choice?
Is there doubt?
My brother Michael died 2 years ago yesterday. Truthfully, he didn't 'die' he killed himself. I haven't talked about him in those years, not even to my family. I try not to even think about him. I think I might hate him. I don't want to, but I think I might. And I have no idea how to make that stop.
Sometimes I dream about him. We're driving in a car, I don't recognize the scenery but it's beautiful. I get out of the car to take a photo of a sea view & when I turn around he has driven off without me. He just drives off & leaves me stranded in this place I don't know.
Sometimes we're in an old house. There are dozens of people around, I stop to admire a painting on the wall & when I turn around he's gone. I catch him going down a spiral stair case. I try to follow him but I can't catch up. The stairs seem to descend forever, there's just no end to them. An old woman tells me not to bother. She tells me I'll never catch him where he's going. Whenever I have this dream I always wake up crying. I had it a few times before I could remember it well enough to get why I was crying. I get it now.
I never mention him to my family. They all rushed home for the funeral, had him buried on church ground, next to dad.
I've studied suicide. I'm more than familiar with all the psychological reasoning. I know all the theories of depression, chemical imbalances, psychotic breaks, & on & on & on. None of it matters. The truth is he quit the game half way through & left the rest of us holding the cards.
I've never been one to hold a grudge. I know better than some the freedom you can find in forgiveness. But sometimes when a grudge is all you have, its just all you have. And there's no resolution to be found if you ask me. You can't argue with the wind.

Good-Bye My Love

2006-12-06T17:26:00.000-07:00

I am most possibly the dumbest smart person I know. I'm just absent minded. I forget simply tasks & fumble my way through most days. Ask me about the Gross National Product, International Immigration Laws or even the root of Pi and I'm on the ball. Really, I am. But in day to day functioning, I'm a mess.

Well this week I did the unthinkable. I lost my iPod. I must admit, I didn't take very good care of him. I took him for granted really. I threw him around the apartment, tossed him in & out of gym bags, left him under my smelly runners or rubbing up against my keys as I ran to work. Once or twice I even stepped on him. I didn't mean to, it was an accident. I just aways thought he'd be there. And now he's gone, forever.

As silly as it may seem to those of you still carting around the extra 5 pds of diskman. I'm a bit lost without my daily soundtrack. Even my walk to the post office this morning felt like a task.

So to whom ever has found my beloved iPod: Be good to him. Appreciate him. And take good care of him. I didn't and now he's gone. Mom was right, I don't take care of my things.

Also, I hope you enjoy the Doors I put on there, I added a little Hip, some Dylan & tossed in a bit of Nellie Furtado... Enjoy!

Banff

2006-12-05T14:45:00.000-07:00

The God Gene???

2006-12-05T13:06:00.000-07:00

A God gene? Could there be such a thing? A researcher in Maryland thinks 'yes'. Dr Dean Hamer, Ph.D., has discovered a gene called VMAT2 that comes in two forms. One of those forms may help us to experience transcendent occurrences, like feeling the presence of God. VMAT2 controls feel-good chemicals, like serotonin & dopamine. Dr. Hamer thinks that this same family of chemicals prime us for religious experiences. Dr. Hamer estimates that about 50% of people have the God gene.

I've been searching for God, spiritual connectedness, the Truth, the 'I don't know what really', for as long as I can remember. I don't know why I do & I have no I idea where or when my fascination with the Divine began. I only know that its always seemed to be there. Could it be possible that I am just genetically predisposed to search for God?

If there is a God gene, what could it be for? Genes are all business. There's no fun or just because when it comes to genes, not really. Each one has a task, a function. They don't just exist, they all have a required purpose. Dr. Hamer theorizes that just as our instincts for reproduction & food sustain our species, maybe those individuals with the God gene have an advantage in the whole survival of the fittest racked.

Studies have shown that being religious can improve overall health. People who worship in some form have better functioning immune systems & are 40% less likely to have high blood pressure. God it seems is the ultimate destressor. Besides making you healthy, it can also help to keep you on the straight & narrow, which can keep you safer. Faith encourages social & cultural interactions that can help people form bonds. It also induces optimism, which is proven to help people live longer.

Now the research also concludes that there is no specific religion or creed that works best. Mulling over a strand of prayer beads, sitting quietly & reading the Quran, or hunkering down in Lotus, all seem to have the same benefits. If done mindfully. Its the purpose behind the action that seems to carry all the benefits. So if you think you can just haul your sorry ass to church once a week & live longer, you're shit outta luck.

In fact meditation, one of the most purposeful forms of spirituality has an overload of benefits. And is not restricted to 'OM' chanting yoga gurus. I learned about meditation from my great-grandmother, who would, twice a day sit in her rocking chair & completely zone out on her rosary. (Maybe a coincidence, but she also lived to be 98 & was without a doubt sharper & stronger then I've ever been). Its actually proven that meditation makes people smarter. Areas of the brain responsible for decision making, planning & other high level activities don't seem to deteriorate with age in long term mediators. It can also give a person all the pick me ups of a mid-day nap. 40 minutes in Lotus is the equivalent of 4-5 cups of joe. No wonder Buddha is always smiling.

I don't know why I search for God. If it's genetic or not. I don't even know if there is anything to find. I may be completely off course. And there may be nothing behind the curtain except giant dust balls. But if I am wrong, where's the harm?

I do know that my search has managed to keep me on the straight & narrow. I'm safe & healthy. It has often given me purpose & meaning in times when I was in desperate need of them. It's offered me direction at more then one fork. I don't have high blood pressure, even though it runs in my family. I sleep like a log & people say I'm not too dumb. I tend to take life in stride, with some inner believe that it all really does work out in the wash. And until someone proves me wrong, such is life. It won't be the first time I've been wrong. But it may be the first time I wouldn't mind being wrong. Because in this case its really not the right or wrong of it that matters. But only did it improve my life? Did it effect my character?

Here's to the good fight & the mindful search.

True religion is real living; living with all one's soul, with all one's goodness and righteousness.

-Albert Einstein

National Day of the Artisan

2006-12-04T12:40:00.000-07:00

Today is Mexico's National Day of the Artisan. A day to celebrate the social & cultural contributions of its artists & creative thinkers. I like the idea of having a day to appreciate the work & contributions that artists make in our lives. And they do, whether we realize it or not. They often challenge the percieved 'status quo'. Or help to pass on history, traditions & cultural integrity to newer generations.
The names of the worlds great artists have become part of our vocabulary. You don't have to be an art history major to know who Michelangelo was or that we owe the Sistine chapel to his outrageous talent. Andy Warhol practically defined New York in the 70's & through into the 80's. His work helped to erase the distinction between fine art & popular culture. Actually, you can thank Andy for the entire concept of "pop-culture".

Frida Kahlo, possibly Mexico's most famous artist, was a woman. In the early 20th century, in a venomously religious country like Mexico, she was a woman, a divorcee, a bi-sexual, a communist & an artist, changing the way women thought & were perceived. A lowly female, influencing the culture of an entire generation, and still influencing people today.

Art is meant to help us unlock the human condition. It can often bring truth & understanding to a world in desperate need of both. It forces us to look at ourselves.., warts & all.

Side note: Today is also the day that the Museum of Modern Art inadvertently hung Matisse's 'Le Bateau' upside down & left it that way for 47 days in 1961. Maybe it looked better that way. Maybe Matisse would have approved. When has any great artist ever been upset by a fresh point of view?

"No longer shall I paint interiors with men reading and women knitting. I will paint living people who breathe and feel and suffer and love."

-Edvard Munch

Just a giggle

2006-12-03T17:41:00.000-07:00

Photo of the Week

2006-12-03T17:37:00.000-07:00

Starbucks wins back another one

2006-12-03T17:20:00.000-07:00

Yes it's so true. I broke down. I'm weak. 7 months without one cup of joe & now 5 cups in the last 2 days. I just needed it O.K!!! I know caffeine is the devil but it keeps me awake & stops me from harming others & I don't think that's such a bad thing really. I have come to the conclusion that coffee is just a necessary evil. I've made peace with my weakness. 3 cheers Juan Valdez!

Check Mate?

2006-12-02T20:11:00.000-07:00

This just in: The World Chess Federation has decided to introduce dope testing. Chess + Dope testing !!!Testing for what exactly, Gingo Bilobo? I don't think there is a steroid out there that enhances brain activity. I'm not a scientist, I've run no tests. I do however go to the gym. Therefore I do interact with these neck less buffoons. And as bad as I am at chess, I'd wagger I could take anyone of them. I could kick their ass, at chess, or checkers, or even snakes & ladders.
The WCF is hoping that the testing will help to raise the international standards of the 'sport' (a term I use loosely) & hopefully help to make chess an Olympic sport in the future.
I'm sorry, no offense to chess players. I know its an extremely difficult game. It takes a lot of mental agility to play chess... & win. I know, I have a nephew who's been beating me since he was seven. However, that said, if chess ever becomes an Olympic sport, I will boycott the Olympics. I mean really. Table tennis is embarrassing enough.
(Side note, the IOC is also looking to recognise tug of war, yes you heard me, TUG OF WAR. A game you can play with your dog & a chew toy. But at least that's physical).
The Olympics is not a forum for mental competition. It is a test of physical strength & endurance. Hence, ancient Greece, the gladiators, the Adonis. They weren't sitting around playing chess, at least not in the arena. Maybe at home in their spare time, on the porch with the neighbour.
Are they trying to make a mockery out of the entire Olympic spirit? Well, at least I'll still have the winter Olympics, minus curling of course.

Just A Thought

2006-12-02T15:52:00.000-07:00

Until one is committed there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back, always ineffectiveness. Concerning all acts of initiative there is one elementary truth the ignorance of which kills countless ideas & splendid plans:

That the moment one definitely commits oneself, then providence moves too. All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one's favor all manner of unforeseen incidents & meetings & material assistance. Which no man could have dreamt would have come his way. I have learned a deep respect for one of Goethe's couplets, "Whatever you can do, or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power & magic in it."

-W.H Murray

Mountaineer

World AIDS Day

2006-12-01T16:52:00.000-07:00

Today is world AIDS day. 40 million people are living with the disease world wide. There are only 36 million people residing within Canada. More people have AIDS then live in this country. And its not getting any better. AIDS is increasing in every single region of the world. Including Canada. 58,000 people in this country are currently living with the virus. That's a 16% increase from 2002.

Since the virus was first discovered in 1981, it has claimed the lives of 25 million people. In 2005, 2.8 million people died & 4.1 million were newly infected.

With all of the information, funding & prevention out there it is hard to believe its still winning. But it is. Forget for a moment the images on the evening news. Forget the infection rates of sub Saharan Africa. Which can at times seem so remote & far away. We talk so much about countries like Africa & India. The struggle seems to become a battle "over there", and we forget that this country, like every other on this planet is in this fight. Another Canadian is infected with HIV every 2 hours. There's a chance that someone you know is being infected while you read this.

The fight is not just about India or Africa, even though their infection rates are the highest, so too are their populations. Taken in a per capita ratio, we are not so different. We are by no means immune.

The saddest thing is that AIDS & health organizations world wide estimate that millions more are infected & are completely unaware of it. The first step any of us can take toward prevention is to simply get tested.

For more information about AIDS & AIDS research/prevention www.amfar.org and www.joinred.com are great sites, as is www.theglobalfund.org

Educate yourself!

Get tested!

Take your head out of you ass!!

It is bad enough that people are dying of AIDS, but no one should die of ignorance.

-Elizabeth Taylor

Parlez vous Francais?

2006-11-29T13:24:00.000-07:00

WHAT WOULD YOU ATTEMPT TO DO IF YOU KNEW YOU COULD NOT FAIL????

I've been thinking a lot about this lately. What would I do? I think I'd move to Paris. I'd wear floral prints & silk scarves. I would write a novel & learn to sculpt. I'd e-mail the person I miss & who's been on my mind all week. And I would tell him that I miss him. No expectations, just so he'd know he was missed. I'd make a list of things I want to say to people. Then I'd call each one & tell them. My voice wouldn't shake or hesitate, I'd just tell the truth.

That's it you know, the truth, that's what we're all really afraid of. It's definitely what keeps me awake at night. Afraid to speak it, afraid to face it, afraid to live it. What if we were disappointed? Or worse, what if we disappointed others? What if they laughed? What if they thought our pain or our profound truth was funny? What would happen if we leaped, into the unknown, & fell flat on our face?

Truthfully, we'd probably get up & start over. We'd survive, a little battered & maybe a little wiser. But honestly, it most likely wouldn't be the end of the world. And the thought that it could possibly mean the end of all things, is just slightly conceded.

So , why then don't we do the things we want to do? Why are we chained down by fear?

Why am I not in a cafe in Paris writing the next great novel?

It's the leap, not the fall that's really scaring. But the fool must leap. Or except a half hearted life.

"The Stones Tell The Story"...I think that will be the title of my first novel.

NOV 19

2006-11-26T17:48:00.000-07:00

Cactus! That's what I dream about this time of the year. -33 degrees Celsius, 2 feet of snow during the night & I dream of cactus. Not Christmas trees or mistletoe, succulents.
Christmas is a great time of the year. I love the decorations, the gift wrapping, hunting all day for that perfect something. I really do love it. At least I used. I'm trying to get the old feelings back, I'm trying hard. But too often now I get preoccupied. Now, the end of the year is a struggle for me. I get overcome with memories & emotions that I successfully keep in check the rest of the year. My dreams become chaotic, when I sleep at all. I find the ends of my mouth heavy & I look at my feet a lot. This is the time of the year when I lost the thing I didn't really know I had. My friend. My only true ally.
My father was not in any way a perfect specimen on which to judge mankind. He was eternally flawed, no one would argue. He complained too much & drank too often. He also invented porcupine kisses & read encyclopedias as if they were novels.
Its been 5 years now without him. And I can still smell him. A mixture of his cologne & apple chewing tobacco. Not exactly Chanel, but when it hits me I am suddenly comforted, no matter where I am or what I'm doing. Odd, I know.

Christmas was never his season, he was a Spring man. That was when he could stop wearing so many layers, when the walk to get to his weekly card game was not a frozen trek & all of the plans he'd been devising all winter for his prized vegetable garden could start to come to fruition. Spring was his season.
Summer had its perks but Spring was were it all began. I've always been an Autumn girl. Opposites even in seasons.
Oddly, the thing I miss most are the arguments. I don't fight with anyone the way I fought with him. There was an abandon there that I've found with no one else. I was never afraid of offending or going too far. I trusted that he would never get angry, the argument would never turn personal & when it was over, it was as good as forgotten. No grudges were held or stern silences kept. And they always ended the same way, with a cup of tea.
Sometimes I pretend that it never happened. That I miss him only because he is at home & I am not. I pretend that it is geography that separates us. My fantasy never lasts very long, I always remember. Even so I cherish my brief delusional moments.
The thing that invades my dreams. The thing that makes it impossible for me to sleep at all. Is the not knowing. Other people can tell me. I've read the books. I can tell myself. But I will never really know if he knew how much I loved him. I will never really know if he knew how grateful I was to him. Because being the self absorbed person that I can tend to be, I never said 'thank you'.

Making peace with a ghost is no easy task. And I know I may never find the stillness I seek. But in searching for it I do seem to have found a slightly better understanding of a man I thought I knew. And a deeper appreciation for the people still near me. Anniversaries come every year whether I want them to or not. They never seem to get easier. I don't know that they ever will. But I got through this one without crawling into a fetal position & ugly crying. That's progress. It's not peace. But its something.

Do not stand at my grave and weep
I am not there.
I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow.
I am the diamond glints on snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain.
I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you awaken in the morning's hush
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft stars that shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry;
I am not there.
I did not die.

-Mary E. Frye

Picture of the Week

2006-11-24T16:59:00.001-07:00

Ships Ahoy?

2006-11-24T16:19:00.000-07:00

I've been thinking lately about ships. For those of you who know me you know I've always had a love-hate relationship with the high seas. Love the lifestyle, hate the passengers (most of them anyway). But I've been landlocked now for 7 months & I have to admit, though a year ago I didn't think it possible, I really miss it.

I didn't leave ships because I hated it. I left because I had a lot of personal burdens, things I needed to face, things I needed time to deal with. And as you know personal time is the one thing you don't have on a ship. I was so unhappy my last year on ships. But it really wasn't the job or the lifestyle that was making me miserable (though I may have blamed them at the time), it was the mess I had spinning around in my head. But now that I've made a little peace, with myself, the thought of going back just doesn't seem that crazy. It almost seems right. I'm not saying I will go back, I'm just saying I'm weighing my options. And its nice to have options. So if I do decide to go back don't think I've gone insane or that I must be desperate to get away. If I do go back it'll be because I want to.

For right now though, I've resigned myself to surviving a Canadian winter (-38 degrees Celsius..you've got to be kidding me). Why does anyone live here? I know its very pretty but pretty doesn't keep the icicles off my ass.

Icicles aside, Christmas is fast approaching. And I'm looking forward to celebrating here at home. With snowmen & ginger bread. With family & friends( even if they are not as close as I'd like them to be, it bets being countries apart).

The decision as to what I'll do when I leave Banff, if I leave Banff, can wait for now. Right now all I want to do is learn to snowboard, go ice skating & sing some carols (in the shower of course, I'm not that cruel).

Ladies Man

2006-11-23T18:23:00.000-07:00

Was this look ever hot? Really??? You're shitting me. Because I'm torn. Part of me is thoroughly amused, in that, I must look away but it's so damn funny, kinda way & another part of me feels like my skin is going to crawl off my skeleton & hide, somewhere far away from this.

What if I told you this picture is like a week old & this guy thinks he's the shit?

Excuse me I have to go find my skin.

Glory Days

2006-11-23T18:10:00.000-07:00

You know sometimes I think about getting older & I get a little blue. It actually makes me sad to think that I will never be a teenager again. That those wonder days are lost to me forever. And then I see a photo like this & I think "Thank Fucking God I am not a teenager any more!" 30! Bring it! Because teenagers are idiots! And you just know that somewhere there's a father saying, "Now dear, calm down, I know their a little late but its not like their passed out on the side of the road somewhere covered in their own piss & vomit. I'm sure everything is fine."

Site of the Week

2006-11-23T17:11:00.000-07:00

www.postsecret.com Awesome idea, I wish I had thought of it. Some of these post cards are funny, others are heartbreaking. But they are all so truthful.
If art is suppose to reveal the human condition, then this site is the Louvre.

What a Woman Wants

2006-11-17T17:21:00.000-07:00

We want to laugh more & love often. We want to save money & go shopping. We want to say what we mean & not offend. We want to be honest & stay mysterious. We want to be good but occasionally be naughty.
We want to live a peaceful life and learn to fight with a sword.

We want to be independent & sometimes let you save us. We want to be Gloria Steinem & Honey Ryder.
We want you to understand us but never be predictable. We want to believe in fairy tales while living in the real world.

We don't want much, just everything.

Robert Frost

2006-11-16T15:29:00.000-07:00

FIRE AND ICE

Some say the world will end in fire,
Some say in ice.

From what I've tasted of desire
I hold with those who favour fire.
But if it had to perish twice,
I think I know enough of hate
To say that for destruction ice
Is also great
And would suffice.

MAN OF THE YEAR

2006-11-14T15:47:00.000-07:00

Muhammad Yunus:
He doesn't have the profile of Bob Geldof or Bono, but this year's winner of the Nobel Peace Prize, has an interesting idea & its working.

He is the man of the hour. Honored for his groundbreaking micro-economic strategy. Which he has implemented in his home country of Bangladesh.

Yunus has started a revoutionary new kind of banking that has loaned millions of dollars to the worlds poorest people with no collateral. (Noteworthy: 97% of his banks customers are women) He is confident that he will reduce the poverty rate in Bangladesh by 50% by 2012. He says his strategy is simple & can be implemented anywhere to do away with poverty. He started by simply lending $27 to 42 people, split amongst them, (about .65cents each).

Imagine, from $27 to reducing the poverty of one of the worlds poorest countries by 50%.

Why aren't more NGOs & governments looking into this? Seems to me, & the Nobel Committee, he might just be on to something.

Fluffy Kitty Oswald

2006-11-14T14:31:00.000-07:00

I know he looks cute. But that's precisely why the disguise is so genius. Who would ever suspect?

HMMM......

2006-11-14T14:12:00.000-07:00

I have come to believe that the whole world is an enigma, a harmless enigma that is made terrible by our own mad attempt to interpret it as though it had an underlying truth.
-Umberto Eco

Picture of the Week

2006-11-13T18:14:00.000-07:00

10 Random Thoughts

2006-11-13T17:59:00.000-07:00

1. Good music can save your soul

2. A good laugh can save your life

3. Friends are family that we choose, so choose carefully

4. Breathing is the best way to live longer - don't believe me, try not breathing, see how it goes

5. Your smile says more about you then your clothes, your car & your job combined

6. Sometimes the best thing to do is nothing at all

7. Listen to other's opinions, but make up your own mind

8. Take a nap...dream a little

9. Monkey's are funny

10. Life's short, eat dessert first

And The Award Goes To...

2006-11-13T15:53:00.000-07:00

I'm very proud to report that Canada had the distinguished honor of receiving the 'Fossil of the day' award at the UN's International Conference on Climate Change in Kenya this week. The title is awarded by the Climate Action Network to the country that is deemed to have contributed the least to progress during the talks. Wow! what an accomplishment. When the floods come, we'll know who to thank.

So basically, as our supreme leader, Mr. Harper, pulls our country slowly but decisively away from the Kyoto Protocol, he also has no working alternative. If he did we would have had something to contribute.

Our planet is slowly burning up & no one seems to give a damn, least of all Mr. Harper. The last report from the UN Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Control (IPCC) is a very depressing read, I don't recommend it. Summed up, the world is getting warmer. Which when your a Canadian staring down the barrel end of yet another cold & miserable winter, doesn't really sound so bad, actually, its pretty enticing. and if that's all there was to it, I'd be out there with G.W giving the finger to the tree hugging hippies. Because its only November & I'm freezing my arse off already. But that is not all there is to it.
Global surface temperatures have risen 0.6 degrees Celsius. Snow cover has decreased 10%. The lakes & rivers in the North are frozen 2 weeks less a year. Non-polar mountain glaciers are in noticeable retreat. The global sea level has risen between 0.1 - 0.2 meters.

These changes cause floods, intense weather patterns, storms, droughts, & heat waves. With developing countries being the most vulnerable. Great, like they don't have enough on their plate. It's almost comical, that the countries who produce the least greenhouse gases are the very ones going to suffer the most because of them.

The World Wildlife Fund predicts that polar bears may be pushed to extinction by 2100, due to the ice melt. Caribou, Musk Ox & reindeer may find themselves pushing for space as well, as there habitat become smaller. Native American communities will also start to find there lands & way of life forever changed as the land & the animals change.

Industrial countries have been pumping out heat trapped greenhouse gases in an ever increasing amount since the 19th century. Isn't it time we stood up & took responsibility for it. Before its too late & we all fry, if we don't drown first, or get swallowed by a tsunami, or die of thirst.

Of Course God has a Sense of Humour...Have you Seen the Platypus?

2006-11-08T13:55:00.000-07:00

I've got another one >ahref>http://www.wondercafe.ca/ Its a new site started by the United Church. They're hoping to lure new followers, apparently their numbers have been dwindling. They have a whole new 3 year ad campaign as well, which by the way includes a squirrel. That's really all I have to say about it, they have a squirrel.
I love these people. I'm not a member of the church, I'm not even religious in that weekly sort of way. But I watched the EZ Squirrel video & saw these campaigns & laughed so hard it hurt. Actually, I think I peed a little, just between you & me. A bobble head Christ!!! I don't care who you are, that's funny! And I want one. More than just funny, they've got people talking. 2 days ago I could say with relative certainty that I had had about...Oh, I don't know, ZERO conversations about the United Church in my life time. I've had 2, just today.
How much fun does sex have to be before its a sin? That's genius. I want to shake the hand of the person who came up with this campaign. I hope they got paid well. I mean a church actually using laughter instead of fear to convert the masses is revolutionary (I cannot believe I just used that word to describe a church). But it flies in the face of all things pious. I mean aren't we suppose to be solemn & timid. Walk around with our heads bowed looking at our footwear. And God forbid if we should ever dare to ask a question (logic has nothing to do with religion). Because this campaign is not only funny, its debatable. They are actually encouraging people to talk about the issues.

You have no idea how many days I spend in the corner of my Roman Catholic classroom because I asked an "inappropriate" question. Until I finally realized, about half way through the school year, that all questions were "inappropriate" to Sister Madeline. And to be a "good" catholic meant to sit quietly & on occasion, nod & smile. Needless to say Sister Mad & I did not get along so well & the corner is not really such a bad place when you consider the mindless alternative.

It's also very smart from a marketing stand point. I think we all had it figured out by the time we were 7 that if we made mom laugh before we asked for the thing we knew she didn't want to give us we had a better chance of getting it.

People are just more open to change & to new ideas when their happy. It's not rocket science.

I know that no everyone is going to find these ads funny. The Bible thumpers will be out in full force, throwing around words like blasphemy & heretical, because heaven forbid anyone should (intentionally) laugh at religion.

I don't care want anyone thinks, I love it, the whole concept. I mean really, when a Jehovah's Witnesses knocks on your door at some God forsaken time in the morning you pretend your not home, admit it, you hide. But if he started telling a knock knock joke on your front porch, you'd open that door, just to hear the punchline. I know you would. I would.

The CBC...Really?

2006-11-08T12:58:00.000-07:00

Awesome show, Strombo beats Peter Mansbridge hands down (hard to believe its the CBC)!!!

Great site!!! He has some pretty cool links on there too, like Rick Mercer & Shaun Majumdar.

He's not exactly hard on the eyes either.

http://www.strombo.com

Excuse me while I get Political

2006-11-07T12:32:00.000-07:00

Daniel Ortega, a former Marxist revolutionary, is back in charge in Nicaragua, 16 yrs after being ousted. Is this a good thing? I'm not entirely sure. His reputation is not exactly spotless. He was arrested for bank robbery in the late '60's, he was released in '74 in exchange for hostages. And he's been accused of everything from corruption to sexual abuse.
Though, I must admit none of that really fazes me. When I think of how his re-election just urges the United States it makes me giggle inside. Also, the return of his party, the Sandinista National Liberation Front (FSLN), creates the possibility of real change, especially for Nicaragua's poor.
To hear the United States tell it, they are the pinnacle of all things democratic. But they did all they could to once again tie the hands of voters in Nicaragua. Only this time they lost.
To the US conservatives the Nicaraguans are all going straight to hell, for having committed the greatest sin of all - electing a leader not in favor in the White House.
For those of you that don't remember. The US imposed economic embargo's on Nicaragua in the 1980's. In the 1990's they made it very clear that those embargo's, as well as US funding to terrorist Contra forces, would continue if Ortega was re-elected. Those threats are thought to have played a major role in Ortega & the FSLN being pushed out of office in 1990.
During this years election the US went so far as to suggest that if Ortega were re-elected they would impose a block on all money being sent from Nicaraguan immigrants in the US back home to impoverished family members.
The US Ambassador to Nicaragua openly supported Ortega's opponents, an act that violates diplomatic protocol.
The US Secretary of Commerce suggested that millions in aid given to Nicaragua from the US & hundreds of millions in US investment could be brought into question if voters were to elect the 'wrong' candidate.
Jeb Bush ran ads in Nicaraguan newspapers associating Ortega with international terrorism. These were not new stories, they were full page ads, bought & paid for.
This is not the first time the US government meddled in the affairs of Nicaragua. In '81 Reagan condemned the FSLN. He believed they were consorting with Cuba & the Soviet Union. The CIA began financing, arming & training rebel troops, known as the Contras, to overthrow the FSLN. The result - a civil war that claimed the lives of a estimated 60,000 Nicaraguans & made it impossible for the FSLN to rebuilt a country already in ruins.
I for one am proud of the Nicaraguans for voting their conscience & not allowing themselves to be bullied into voting for pro-US candidates. I don't know if Ortega is the right person to lead Nicaragua & to rebuild the country. But really no one ever knows if their voting for the person who will inspire their nation or cause its downfall. Whether you live in Nicaragua or Canada, elections are a crap shoot. All any of us can do is educate ourselves about the real issues & go with God. When we watch elections, our own or someone elses, we often don't agree with the outcomes (Bush would not have been my 1st choice..or 2nd..or 3rd). But if we believe & value our democratic ideals then we can't simply dismiss them when they become inconvenient. That's the problem with the US. That's why country's hate them. Because they try to instill rules & ideals in other country's that they themselves don't live by. And its infuriating. Its like being lectured about not smoking by someone with Marlboro hanging out the side of their mouth while they walk to the store to buy another carton.

The US often times reminds me of a spoiled child on a playground. Play the game his way or he's taking his ball & going home. And I just love it when a country calls their bluff & lets them know that they can take their ball, they'll play a new game or go get their own damn ball. You would think that the US would learn from their own history & stop meddling in the affairs of foreign & sovereign nations.

It's time the US stop spouting off about the high & mighty ideals of their country & start living by them.

"You do not lead by hitting people over the head - thats assault, not leadership".

Dwight D. Eisenhower

Not Uplifting

2006-11-05T15:06:00.000-07:00

Have you ever had one of those mornings when everything that could go wrong does? And your left to wonder, "why did I even bother to get out of bed"?

You over sleep, spill coffee on your jacket, have a fat day, arrive late for work, & then embarrass yourself in front of a cute colleague. All before noon. Welcome to my day!

I hate these mornings because they ruin my whole day. I spend the rest of my time using all my energy trying to climb out of my funk. And in my line of work moody doesn't play. I need to be welcoming & friendly all day, every day. Well, today it just ain't gonna happen. I don't have the strength to fake it.

I know I should make the effort because negative energy just attracts more negative energy (& vise versa). I know that goes against physics, but such is life. The snowball, if not stopped at the beginning can evolve into an avalanche. I know in my mind that if I force myself to smile, eventually I'll really be smiling. Change your mind, change your mood. I know this. I know that if I make the effort to be positive that my day will improve, or at least my perception of my day will improve. But I just don't have the necessary initial investment. The negativity is too strong & I'm too tired to fight it. All I can hope is I don't pass it along to anyone else, because it is highly contagious.

So, I am wishing my life away, as I pray for the end of this miserable day with all its spilled coffee & embarrassing moments.

Days like today really shouldn't be written down for prosperity, they should be forgotten. But as I said, I'm simply not strong enough today. So I'll write it down & wallow in it for a while. Until I can go home, pull the covers over my head & forget any of it ever happened.

I'll bet a nudist colony takes all the fun out of Halloween

2006-10-31T14:11:00.000-07:00

So the long days of summer are officially over. Samhain ("sow" "en", not "sam" "han") has arrived bringing with it the darkened days of winter. I don't normally dress up or get up to trouble on this night like most people do. Tonight is a magical night, one of the 4 most magical nights of the year. Its an 'in between' night when the dead walk among us & the veils between the past, present & future can be briefly lifted.

Traditionally, Halloween was one of the four fire festivals celebrated by the Paleopagans of Ireland & the UK, but when the church couldn't get them to stop celebrating their pagan day it did what it had done often enough before. It sprinkled a little holy water & gave it a new name. Not a new idea to the Roman Catholic church. It had done it to Valentine's Day, formerly Lupercalia, Easter which was Eostre & of course Christmas, old time Yule. The church not only co-opted sacred dates, it also did it to sacred places. Most of the great cathedrals of Europe were build on top of earlier Paleopagan shrines & sacred groves. By co-opting the day Pope Gregory hoped to quash the pagan celebration, He moved All saints Day from April to Nov 1st. But that didn't nor hasn't stopped anyone from celebrating the day of the dead.

Growing up, the night before Halloween was always Bonfire Night. One of my favorite nights of the whole year. Large communal bonfires were lit & the whole town danced, sang & celebrated into the night. Only much latter did I learn that I was participating in a very old pagan celebration. The Paleopagans of Ireland & the UK would light large fires on the night before Samhain to call the spirits of their loved ones home & to ward off any evil spirit that might try to cross over during this in between time. Here I was a Roman Catholic & a Pagan.

Today Halloween is more of a pop culture celebration then a sacred spiritual one. People dress up as their favorite movie star or Halloween icon. They carve faces out of large squash & send their children out in the middle of the night to go house to house begging for food & somehow manage to keep their dignity.

I'll admit, I partake in some of the poppiness. I watch The Great Pumpkin every year, you have to, as much as the communal bonfires were part of the Paleopagans ritual life, Charlie Brown is a part of mine. I look forward to watching Linus full of all his innocence & hope all year long. It gets me through, until the Charlie Brown Christmas.

Its all good fun. But if by chance when your out late tonight & you see some very strange people, dressed in kick ass costumes & having way too much fun, don't be alarmed. Tonight is only one of four nights a year that they get to come out and play. By morning they'll be gone & all will be right with the world again.

Night out with the Girls

2006-10-30T20:49:00.000-07:00

By the end of the night we had Carrie a little drunker than I think she's use to but bless her she's a tropper. I don't think we scared her too badly.

Rachel was the smart one. She stayed in her P.J's & kicked us out.

I have no idea what Ashley is doing here. I don't even really recall taking the photo. I'm sure it was funny at the time.

Yes, I actually posted a photo of myself. Not a very good one, but its the only one I didn't delete.

I don't know where Michelle got this hat but she looks cute in it anyway

Cherish Them

2006-10-29T18:42:00.000-07:00

I woke up this morning & took a walk. I was smiling. It was snowing. All was well with the world. Then I got some news. A colleague of mine was on vacation in India & yesterday she got a call to come home. Her parents were in a car accident. Her mother died instantly & her father is in a coma.
That is how fast everything can change. You blink & life is never the same again.
We always think there will be time with the ones who matter to us. We don't kiss them just because or tell them we love them without a reason. We get embarrassed by the gesture or disarmed by the risk. But time is not something we can manage & there is never enough of it.
Before my dad died, I convinced myself there would be more time. There wasn't. And I'll live with that regret for the rest of my life.
Cherish the ones you love while you have them because once those moments are gone they are gone forever. Hug someone today, don't wait until tomorrow, it may not be there.

"Parting is all we know of Heaven and all we need of Hell"

-Emily Dickinson

IT'S SNOWING!!!!

2006-10-29T15:40:00.000-07:00

I woke up this morning pulled open my curtains & was greeted by a white world. I got dressed before the sun was even fully awake & went for my first winter stroll. The streets were all but empty so I could just walk along & listen to the crunch under my Timberlines. It felt great. I was a little kid again, it almost felt as good as a snow day from school, even though I still had to go to work. I couldn't help but keep giggling to myself every few feet along the way. Jack Frost has arrived in Banff.

It's perfect snow too. The kind that packs tight in snowballs & clings to your eyelashes. I want to skip work, spend the day making snowmen & a campaign of snow angels. I want to go tobogganing & then curl up on the couch with a cozy blanket & a big mug of hot chocolate, with a splash of baileys, & watch a feel good movie while it continues to snow outside. This is the season I've missed. The season of down & flannel, mittens with string & good old fashion Canadian tukes.

I know that 5 or 6 months of this really is a bit much. and I may try to escape some place warm before its all over. In a month or so I'll be complaining about the -20c & my runny nose. I'll probably hate the sight of snowplows & never want to see another ski jacket as long as I live. I'll spend my nights dreaming of my hammock on the beach & the perfect pina colada. But I'm not thinking about that today. Today I'm thinking that this is absolutely perfect, absolutely beautiful & absolutely Canadian.

Ambition

2006-10-25T17:22:00.000-06:00

Hic Sunt Dragones. Here are dragons.

Cartographers use to write this on their maps, on the parts of the globe that were still unexplored. It was meant to be a warning to anyone who dared to go farther, dared to venture into the unknown. Funny thing about warnings is that to some they are cause for hesitation, while for others they are a challenge to be overcome. As Joseph Conrad so eloquently wrote; " I had ambition not only to go farther than any man had ever been before, but as far as it was possible for a man to go." The true heart of an explorer.

Of course, now the world is all explored & we haven't found any mythical creatures hiding in the darkness. Sometimes I think maybe the cartographers knew we wouldn't. Maybe the dragons they were referring to were not found in the dark jungles of Africa or the deep interiors of Asia. Maybe what they were referring to is found in the heart of man.

When we struggle to make our way it's not dragons that halt our progress, make us doubt & twice think. Its ourselves. It's our fears & our inhibitions. Not just our fear of what we might find but also our fear of what we really already know. To find that we are capable & to know what we are capable of.

Our real fear is never that we will find dragons lurking in the night, but that we will find ourselves.

Have Hope

2006-10-25T16:42:00.000-06:00

How do you help someone who demands that they are not hurting?

How do you heal a wound they hide, from even themselves?

You can't!

Thats the painful truth. You have to stand on the side lines & watch them slowly fall apart. You have to watch as the person you know & love becomes someone you cannot even recognize. You can worry about them, care for them, pray for them. But in the end its not your life to save. All you can do is wait. Wait & hope that the pain gets bad enough, that they fall far enough, that they get so far from hope that they are forced to ask for help.

My heart prays for all of you that may be falling & for all of you who must watch & wait.

Friends

2006-10-24T10:30:00.000-06:00

I've been thinking a lot lately about the past & the people we leave there. Some of my favorite people on the planet are in my past. I haven't seen them in months, sometimes years. But they are still my favorite people & I wouldn't hesitate to pick up the phone or e-mail & reconnect. And I do.

Sometimes connections, however strong they may be at first, fade into forgotten. While others sustain or strengthen over distance & time. Why is that? What makes the difference? Is it the initial power of the connection or simply the level of effort & importance we instill in that relationship once the other is out of sight?

I like to think that when people meet its not "luck", it's because our life requires them at that moment. And if that connection maintains its not because we make it so but because the kinship was fated before we were even a dream.

I look back at my life so far & the relationships I've formed, even the not so good ones, & I can honestly say that I needed each & every one of them. I've walked away, or not, from each one a new person. Having laughed at a new joke, been hurt in a new way, or just seen myself through their eyes. In all this & more I am changed.
If I could thank every person I have ever meet, I would. But thats not possible, so I'll be kind to the ones around me now, treasure my friends til the end & hope that is enough.

Pay Back

2006-10-23T15:01:00.000-06:00

This is for Sarah. Who I never should have allowed to take a photo of me.

This photo in no way makes up for the numerous embarrassing photos you have of me on your space. But knowing that this one is out there makes me feel a little better.

You know I love you & this photo is fab!

Banff

2006-10-22T16:25:00.000-06:00

So, I'm in Banff. And I like it. But I don't love it. I thought I would love it but I don't. I don't know why I don't though. I should love it. It has everything I need. It's beautiful. It's relaxed. It's small, and I'm a small town girl. But I'm getting bored. Well, I'm not sure if I'm getting bored or if its just my wanderlust acting up again. I do this thing where I dream of a place & I believe I can be happy there. I get there.., excited, I explore.., very cool, I meet new people.., awesome but I can't stay. I can't make myself settle. The grass is always greener somewhere else. I wanted desperately to see winter, now I'm cold & I miss the beach. The warm evening breeze & the pina coladas. It's the freedom, it's an addiction. There is a certain kind of freedom found in the impermanence of life in general but that sense of independence is somehow intensified when I am moving. When I move to a new town, a new country. Suddenly, I'm learning new things, meeting new people, exploring new country side. Its exhilarating, it's like a drug. Not only am I learning about a new place but I have found that every new place, every new friend, every new horizon has taught me something about myself. With every new experience I am irrevocably changed & I love it. How do I give that up? I've tried to picture myself with a 9-5 in the city, a one bedroom & a dog. Reading the paper on Saturday in my slippers & having Sunday brunch with friends. And I just can't seem to make it fit. Not even in my imagination, which is boundless, can I make it feel right.

What if I were meant for something else? What if life didn't have to be a series of organized routines? What if I could stop thinking about what was socially acceptable? What if I lived as if this life were truly mine? What if I could be happy? What if I could have what I want without compromising who I am? What if........

I think it was Nietzshe that said we need to invite chaos into our souls. Well, I didn't invite chaos in, I think it was inborn. Now, I'm just trying to make peace with it. To be in the world but not of it. To find a balance between the demands of my chaotic soul & the needs of my practical mind. Its the Gemini in me I'm sure. The ying & yang of the twins, pulling me in opposite directions. Balance...thats the key.

Banff is good...for now. Until my mood shifts & a new horizon beggons.

To all you wanders reading this. Keep moving...because when we stop, thats when we die. Maybe just alittle at a time, but we die.